Funniest restaurant reviews are the perfect blend of humor, frustration, and pure entertainment. No matter if you're a foodie or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these reviews will leave you in stitches. From savage owner clapbacks to bizarre customer complaints, the funniest restaurant reviews show just how passionate people are about their meals. In this article, we’ll dig in to the top 12 funniest restaurant reviews, including key moments, unforgettable comebacks, and why these reviews have gone viral.
1. Savage Owner Clapbacks
Some of the funniest restaurant reviews feature owners who aren’t afraid to fight back. These exchanges are gold for anyone who loves a good dose of sarcasm.
- Key moments:
- A diner owner schooling a customer on the basics of breakfast.
- A pizza place owner roasting a reviewer for complaining about thin crust.
- A café owner shutting down a Yelp critic with flawless logic.
For more savage comebacks, check out this collection of one-star reviews.
2. Use Assembo.ai to Visualize Food Fails
Assembo.ai can help you recreate some of the funniest restaurant reviews by visualizing the dishes described. Upload a food photo and see how it might look in different settings.
- How it works:
- Upload a photo of your dish.
- Choose a background (e.g., a messy kitchen, a fancy restaurant).
- See how your food stacks up against these hilarious reviews.
Learn more about Assembo.ai and its features.
3. Unhinged Takeaway Reviews
The UK’s 'Takeaway Trauma' Instagram page is a treasure trove of the funniest restaurant reviews. These posts feature everything from greasy complaints to outright bizarre accusations.
- Highlights:
- A customer mad about a "disrespectful" water bottle.
- A reviewer claiming their kebab contained "feathers."
- A pizza place accused of serving "condom-like" spherifications.
See more at Takeaway Trauma’s Instagram.
4. Jay Rayner’s Brutal Le Cinq Review
Critic Jay Rayner’s takedown of Paris’ Le Cinq is one of the funniest restaurant reviews ever written. His description of the food as "the stuff of therapy" is legendary.
- Key quotes:
- "The dining room is decorated in various shades of taupe, biscuit, and fuck you."
- "The onion dish was mostly black, like nightmares."
- "The cheesecake tasted of grass clippings."
Read the full review here.
5. Over-the-Top Food Praise
Some of the funniest restaurant reviews aren’t negative—they’re just hilariously extra. These reviewers treat their meals like life-changing experiences.
- Examples:
- A rib review that reads like a love letter.
- A pad Thai described as "priceless" in a parody of The Dark Knight.
- A poached egg dish compared to a "majestic ending."
Check out these hilarious reviews.
6. Bros., Lecce: The Worst Michelin-Starred Meal
Geraldine DeRuiter’s review of Bros. in Lecce is a masterclass in comedic outrage. Her description of the meal as "performance art" is unforgettable.
- Lowlights:
- A dish served in a plaster cast of the chef’s mouth.
- A "deconstructed" carbonara that was just raw egg and cheese powder.
- A bill that made her question her life choices.
Read the full story here.
Final Thoughts
The funniest restaurant reviews prove that food brings out strong emotions—whether it’s love, rage, or pure confusion. From savage clapbacks to over-the-top praise, these reviews are a reminder that dining out is never just about the food. It’s about the stories, the drama, and the occasional condom-shaped spherification. Next time you’re scrolling through reviews, keep an eye out for these gems—they’re better than most comedy specials.